Ups and Downs of weight loss

Let's hop in the time machine......

2002-ish 

Freshman in High school me. I was a size zero. I was probably the tallest girl in my class and a size zero. I was probably a 2 MAYBE 4 by the time I was 18. I literally ate a chocolate chip cookie, cool ranch Doritoes and a Ya-hoo for lunch everyday. Lol no joke. I didn't work out or go to the gym. I was naturally thin. I had a high metabolism. The majority of my life I was always under weight. Not because I didn't eat.... trust I ate. I could put some food away! I was just blessed with a amazing metabolism. 

2013

Before I got pregnant with my daughter I was a 6. I gave birth in June of 2014. I hit the gym 2x a day. 1hr in the am before work. 1 hour after work. I was in better shape after having my baby than before. I was a size 4. 

2018

I was pregnant with our son. Our son reeked havoc on my body. And when I say havoc I'm not joking. Mentally, physically he destroyed me. I had early on issues with our son where I was gaining 5-10 a week in my 1st trimester. I was almost passing out after every meal. If I had any amount of sugar my hands would tremble and I'd be out for the day. My OB told me it was normal. I got a 2nd opinion and was again told everything was fine. My mom, best friend and another friend convinced me to drive 2hrs south to MUSC. One of the BEST hospitals and doctors in our state. My 1st appointment Dr. Soper knew exactly what was going on and it wasn't normal. Turns out I had reactivate hypoglycemia. Basically anytime I had form of sugar or carbs I HAD to pair it with protein. My entire pregnancy my food was limited and monitored. I had the same thing for breakfast everyday. Because it was safe. By my last month eggs made me gag. Lol I had to check my blood sugar 4x a day, I had daily blood thinner injections. I also got a sinus infection that I couldn't kick because I couldn't have real drugs. I literally coughed up blood chuncks the size of quarters for a month or more. I BEGGED them to take him early so I could get better. They obviously didn't. Once I had him I breastfed. I was asked to give up dairy due to him possibly having a milk allergy. After 2wks I could no longer do it. Mentally I was fried. I was sleep deprived and over being on basically a diet for 9 months I just couldn't take it anymore. 

Just had a baby.... like all moms we want our bodies back. Because I was so diet controlled throughout my pregnancy going on a diet was mentally out of the question. I wanted to sit down and have the whole burger. Not the burger without the roll and with 3 French fries to keep my levels in check. 

Since having our son I have struggled with my weight. Size 10 is not me. Not where I want to be. It has been a journey. Don't get me wrong I am blessed to of carried two babies in my womb. But it still mentally wears on you. 

Fast forward to 2020 I gained 20lbs..... I mean who didn't gain weight in quarantine? Lol Nutter Butters were my BFF. Lol I lost weight and got to a 8 before our wedding. I was content with that. Then I lost my grandfather in February. And I was sick. I no joke ate 15 boxes of girl scout cookies in 1 week. And I have no guilt about it. I was sick and my grandfather died due to covid. 

Here I am on my weight loss journey AGAIN lol 

I am about 3weeks in. A friend asked what my goal weight is.... my response was I don't really have one. I want to trim down. And feel comfortable in a bikini but I'm not looking to be the size 0 I was in HS or the Size 4 after I had my daughter. Due to my arthritis in my knee and my neck injury from a car accident from 10+ years ago I can't go HAM (yes I'm that old lol) in the gym. But right now in this moment.... I am happy with where I'm at with my 1hr on the treadmill at a max of 3mph. I have a man who loves me, loves the body that created our beautiful babies. When I am working on my body I'm doing it for ME. Not for him and not for the people that think because I'm smaller than them I shouldn't work on me. That 1hr on the treadmill is the very rare 60 precious minutes I get to myself. 

Do what makes you happy. Don't worry about others. Go out there an make the most of your 60minutes. Push past the arthritis in your knee, the neck injury, the asthma.... push through those things to make yourself stronger mentally and physically don't allow those things to hold you back.